3 Ways to Deal With Your Inner Drive to be Perfect!
The worlds best research (so far) into the perfectionism- suicide link has just been released. the results are a little damning (pun intended) for those of us who like things perfect...
If you break a leg, you see a doctor and have it heal. If you get the flu, you take care of yourself and maybe take medication to relieve symptoms until your body heals itself. But when it comes to depression and mental illness, the majority of us ‘deny til we die’.
I guess that is why so much pregnancy related depression goes untreated.
I have been reading a lot of very misleading pop-psychology articles on the web about introversion and extroversion, which I think people are taking way too seriously. Some authors have even taken it into their own hands and created new subgroups which are neither introverted nor extroverted, but rather somewhere in between. I think it is time to drop some knowledge on what it is we are really talking about here…
Imagine the blue grey volcanic mountains holding their position, while the wind blows down to a Mayan tribe watching from below. A boy walking head down catches an elders’ eyes and she decides to ask the child why he looks so glum. “My parents are arguing again, there is no food or money and this years crops are looking pretty shady- I haven’t really been sleeping very well because of it all.” he says.
“Well then I know just the solution!”
I am a firm believer in all of us being responsible for our reactions, behaviours and ourselves. However I also believe that prevention is better than the cure (and much easier). This is a message to all of you that you have power in the future of our society – the power to positively influence the generations to come.
Are people actually as messed up as their families suggest, are family members privy to more of our dark side and need explanations for what they see? Maybe people really are all mentally ill... or maybe is there something else going on here?
I should start this off by saying I am no authority on this subject. After reading for what feels like years, and training on the subject, I have more questions than answers. Below are some of my thoughts.
How many times have you seen a group of people ‘together’ yet somehow all glued to their phones, only interacting to show one another something funny on their phone?
Most of us have heard of positive psychology and about its benefits (if not go tohttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_psychology and get reading!) made popular largely by Martin Seligman.
The basics of positive of psychology are about teaching ourselves to be happier and thus helping our brains ‘think happy’. My question is; does positive psychology insinuate that to be happy we teach ourselves positive thinking and thus avoid the harder emotions?
Millions of years ago, our humaniod ancestry would travel in packs, tools in hand, searching the lands for food and sustenance. At this point in our history, a threat would stimulate a few simple responses from our body that helped us outlive other species and grow into the people we are today. No response was as quick as our anger.
Did you know that you cannot be anxious while being truly thankful?
They say that if you are feeling low or anxious, you should try to identify at least 5 things that you appreciate, as it has immediate effects on your body and mind.
“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”
While anger is natural, and we all experience it, it is definitely true that some experience it more than others.
“The Mind Is The Source Of Happiness and Unhappiness”
Truer words have never been spoken! This is the power of the brain, to shower us in glee one moment and then inundate us with grief the next. The power of thinking is such that one can almost kill themselves by pure thought (literally).
Think about the relationship between parents and kids as a mountainous range. There are highs and lows in the relationship, there are some rocky areas and some beautiful moments. There is also a constant sense of closeness and distance which is always changing and shifting, especially as kids grow into teenagers and young adults. If we think of a relationship in this way, we can see how important closeness and distance is to a parent/child relationship and to relationships in general.
Ray Medhora can be found practicing child and family therapy in Sydney Australia in the field of family separation as well as training other aspiring counsellors to help them reach their goals.. Ray always feels odd writing in third person.