“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”
While anger is natural, and we all experience it, it is definitely true that some experience it more than others.
In another article I explored anger and where it comes from. If we assume that anger comes from a place of hurt, then the people who experience the most anger, are also the people with the most hurt. They could be people who have not processed their hurt, or do not feel ready to process their hurt, and as such as stuck in a constant state of aggression, not entirely sure how to change or whether or not they need to change.
There are emotional and physiological affects of anger. Physically, what we know, is that a great sense of anger stimulates the chemicals in our body associated with fight or flight response. When we are constantly having this fear response, our bodies flood with various chemicals which eventually deteriorate our muscles and vessels and begin to create heart problems.
Emotionally, if we are never able to process our hurts, then we will never truly move past them. We may wonder why we are always angry, it is probably because we have not yet gone through the other parts of the emotional journey and have not yet resolved our anger. Naturally, anger becomes a way of life. A go-to emotion that is not only easy to use, but also keeps us protected and distant from the painful emotions that can break us down and prevent us from living our lives at the pace or in the fashion we desire. Anger also breeds negativity, and can make it difficult for people to be around.
There are various ways that anger affects us and there are obvious positives to ‘using’ anger. If there weren’t any positives, we wouldnt see it so much. But in spite of these, there are also some affects that really work against us. This is not an article arguing that we have no anger, rather that we acknowledge our anger and any other feelings we have in order to move on without reacting (or over reacting!). To me, it makes sense to work hard now if it means avoiding hardship in the long run. I see the above reasoning as just the beginning of how too much anger, can negatively affect our physical comfort and emotional well being. Often when we throw hot coals at someone else, we burn ourselves in the process – that is what anger does, it burns us.
Ray Medhora can be found practicing child and family therapy in Sydney Australia in the field of family separation as well as training other aspiring counsellors to help them reach their goals.. Ray always feels odd writing in third person.